Tuesday, January 29, 2013

If you thought last week's post was exciting...

I had this nice big post all typed up & ready for posting about how now that I'm not working, I'm going to be decluttering and deep cleaning.

Well, scratch that.

Yesterday, I went to my OB for the first ultrasound of this pregnancy. And got one hell of a shock.

I was watching the monitor, seeing the baby fade in and out, when I jokingly asked the tech, "There's just one in there, right?"

She looked at me and said "no, there's two."

My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. Everything froze in that moment. The world didn't exist beyond that monitor.

"You're joking, right?"

"No, look, you've got twins."

The rest of the ultrasound was a blur of "oh my god"s and deep breaths. I'm pretty certain she was enjoying my shock. She took a bunch of measurements, told me everything looked fine, and off I went to have my blood work done, where I amused the phlebotomist as well. From there I went to my mom's to share the news and get Keira.

Yes, dad, two. Twins.

This morning, we told Doug's parents. The news is still taking some time to settle in and I'm sure I'm going to go slightly nuts over the next few months. From trying to figure out what we can make do with just one of something to what we'll need two of all the way to picking out TWO names! Thankfully, I'm friends with a couple twin moms who have been awesome to offer help already. So instead of welcoming one baby in August, it looks like we'll be getting two in July. Let the madness begin.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Big Yet Tiny News

I know, I fell off the blog-wagon lately. I'm sorry. In my defense, I've been doing pretty lousy. I've been sick. I've been exhausted. And I've been working and trying to get caught up on several things. One or two I managed to accomplish. The rest? Eh, they aren't doing so well. But they'll get there. I'm about to have a lot more time on my hands. Well, sort of.

Doug and I talked and planned and decided that I'm going to be a stay-at-home-mom again. There are a couple reasons, but the main one? I'll let Keira show you.

That's right, baby #2 is on the way. Sometime in early August, we'll get to meet Keira's new sibling. We're happy, excited and kinda anxious to have another little in the house.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Finally Ready

I wrote this post several months, maybe even a year ago. I never published it and every time I read it, my eyes would fill up with tears. While I still miss him terribly, even now, I can finally look back with a smile and a warm feeling in my heart (ok, and maybe still a tear or two). Sadly, another friend is now dealing with this. It reminded me that I still had not shared this and maybe now was the right time.

Yesterday morning, I learned a friend had lost a pet. Their beloved cat had been hit by a car. My heart went out to her and her family. It brought back a lot of memories of the Poot. I sent her texts saying how I was sorry but I wanted more than anything to give her a real hug. Unfortunately, she doesn't live nearby so messages would have to do.

I know it may seem silly to some people, but Poot will always be my first "baby". I still miss him today. I still look at the spots where he'd be and picture him there. I still long for the weight of his body curling up in bed with me. I wish I could still hold him. The fact that I'm crying as I write this tells me I'm still not ready let go. I'm sure one day I will be.

Just not today.

Today, I will look at his pictures. I will see him coming down the stairs. I will hear him begging to brushed. I feel him purring as he lies against me, happy as he ever was. I will imagine he's still here. And I will cry. Because he's not. And I will cry because someone who loved me unconditionally, never cared who I was or what I did, who brought me nothing but joy, love and laughter is gone forever.

And I will smile. Because I had him in my life for ten years. Because for 10 years, I was someone's whole world.

So remember, my friend, it will hurt today. It will hurt tomorrow. It may even hurt months from now. But there will come a day that you'll smile through the tears. When you'll laugh as you wipe your eyes. No one can say when that day is and it's different for each person.

Take your time. You'll know when you're ready. And I have a limitless supply of hugs.

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Snow Day

Last year, Keira was less than impressed with the snow. This year is no different. I got her all bundled up and out we went. Memere even came out with us.

The only thing she seemed to give any notice to was that it was more difficult for her to move about. Oh well. Maybe next year.